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Sammanfattning | Gästskådespelare | Trivia och referenser | Musiken | Citat

Författare: Phil Klemmer, Dayna North
Regissör: Nick Marck
Sändningsdatum USA: 30 nov 2005 på UPN
Sändningsdatum Sverige: 23 nov 2006 på SVT2
Tittarsiffror USA: 3.00 miljoner
Tittarsiffror Sverige: 180 000
Forum: Diskutera avsnittet

Mrs. Hauser: Since you all had such a raucous good time with venereal diseases, I'm sure you'll be thrilled with phase two of Sex Ed. Ladies and gentlemen... [tar ut en babydocka ur en låda] Welcome to Parenthood.
Veronica: So that's where babies come from.

Clemmons: What else have you stolen from my school? I can't imagine that all of these keys belong to your property. For instance, what's this one for?
Veronica: That one, let's see... that one opens a DuraGuard file safe manufactured prior to 1990.
Clemmons: And uh... this one?
Veronica: Fits any Vespa scooter. [Clemmons tittar menande på henne] What? I like to come prepared!

Veronica VO: If Logan's sister is back in Neptune, that must mean she was the first one booted off "The Surreal Life" this season.

Clemmons: The janitor had a dolly accident last week moving the permanent records. Your sentence is up when each of these files finds its way alphabetically into that cabinet.
Veronica: And I can't use magic, right?

Veronica: [till babydockan] Ever hear of genetics, kid? Thanks to your grandma, I got a 50/50 shot of becoming an alkie! Guess that makes your odds 1 in 4, which isn't so bad. Oh, and there's also this latent mean-girl gene. You're lucky you're made out of plastic.

[Veronica ser att Weevil är fasttejpad vid flaggstången]
Veronica: [till babydockan] Well, there you go, kid. Here's life lesson number one: What goes around, comes around.

Veronica: Any idea what my mom did her senior year to get herself suspended?
Clemmons: Let me get this straight - you want follow-up on what I explicitly forbade you from doing yesterday?
Veronica: Um... yes.
Clemmons: More alphabetizing. Less cold casing.

Trina: So, how have you been? I mean, aside from that whole mess with dad and all.
Veronica: What, that? It's water under the bridge.
Trina: Great. I've really been meaning to call you. There has been some super-exciting news with the project. Three words: Evan Rachel Wood.
Veronica: Okay...
Trina: She's gonna play you in "The Aaron Echolls Story." Name changed since you and your dad won't sign the release forms. It's such a great part. It was all over the trades, you didn't see it?
Veronica: I... don't know how I missed it.
Trina: You... should audition for the play! You can audition using anything. Frankly, we need some pretty girls.
Veronica: Yeah, thanks anyway, I don't act.
Trina: Oh, acting's overrated. You've got presence, sweetie. Listen, we'll catch up later. Right now, my company needs me. [med brittisk accent] Oh, the play is my master and I am its whore! [klappar i händerna]

Kendall: Someone request turn-on service?
Duncan: I'm pretty sure it's called turndown service.
Kendall: Oh, well, who would want that?
Duncan: Logan's not here.
Kendall: Loosen up, Richie Rich, okay? I've been in both your beds. I've earned the occasional drop by. [baby crying] Oh my God. Tell me that is not a baby.
Duncan: Don't be silly. It's an animatronic parental-lifestyle simulator. It's a class project.
Kendall: Well, isn't that just the creepiest little thing I've ever seen. So... you want a break from Daddy duty? Let me take you for a ride.
Duncan: A ride?
Kendall: Big D's Maserati is downstairs. You gotta check it out. You would look so hot in it.
Duncan: Can't I just be loved for me?
Kendall: The Maserati retails for 150 grand, [sätter sig i Duncans knä] but I'll let you have her for half that. You do know how to drive stick, don't you?
Duncan: Actually...
Kendall: Don't worry, I'll teach you the fun way. We don't even have to leave the couch. [Duncan knuffar bort henne] Do they like, chemically castrate you boys over at that school? You don't need Sex Ed. I am Sex Ed.

Kendall: Hi, baby. What took you so long? [hon kysser Logan]
Logan: Well, if I had known you were throwing yourself at my roommate, [torkar av läpparna] I'd have raced home.
Kendall: I brought a suprise for you. I figured you and Duncan could try it. Maybe if you boys play nice, you could share or... take turns or something.
Logan: Duncan's not into that sort of thing, pumpkin.
Kendall: No, I'm talking about Dick's Maserati.
Trina: Wait a minute. Are you like, sleeping with my little brother? What is he - 13?
Kendall: Thirteen? He wishes. So, is this your much older sister I've heard nothing about?
Logan: Oh, yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
Trina: Hmm. I'm guessing she's the wet one. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got places to be.
Kendall: Where? Is there a club where you, Dedee Pfeiffer, Joey Travolta, and Melissa Rivers all meet for drinks?
Trina: There is. I don't think you'd like it. It's 21 and over. We're hitting an after party at Chuck E. Cheese though, if you're free. Okay, well, I need him in bed by ten p.m. sharp, he's got school tomorrow. [squeezes Logan's cheeks] Night, all. [exits]
Logan: Well, the joke's on her - she came over to borrow my video camera. The girl does love a good exit line.

Keith: Almost started without you. You'd have missed out on my chili surprise.
Veronica: You made chili?
Keith: Surprise.
Veronica: Had to stop by Duncan's to pick up my progeny. [slänger vårdslöst ner babydockan på bänken] Can I ask you a question about mom?
Keith: Shoot.
Veronica: When you met her, she was still a cool person, right?
Keith: Of course she was cool. She married me, didn't she?

Veronica VO: Which is more torturous: organizing disciplinary files or spending lunch watching the Bard get flogged by the second lead of "Wilder Things"?

Keith: If she didn't split Jake and your mom up, well, you wouldn't have me. And that means you wouldn't be you.
Veronica: And that would be bad, right?

Duncan: [håller babydockan ömt] You know I'm surprised that mom never got one of these things for Lilly. She was always so terrified that Lilly'd get pregnant.
Veronica: That's ironic.
Duncan: What's ironic?
Veronica: Your mom, afraid that Lilly would get pregnant.
Duncan: Hey, now. You're not about to badmouth Celeste, are you?
Veronica: [sarkastik] Heavens, no! I mean, what could I say about that... saint? She is a warmhearted, good-humored, lovely woman of high breeding and impeccable social grace.
Celeste: [som plötsligt dykt upp i rummet] Why, thank you, Veronica.

Celeste: What is she doing here?
Veronica: "She" meaning me? I guess I'm here as Duncan's secret girlfriend. Oh, and we have a love child. [plockar upp babydockan] Want to hold her? She's snuggly.
Celeste: I'll pass. Astrid, if you're done gaping, the clothes?
Duncan: [viskar till Veronica] I'm sorry. I should've told them.
Veronica: Or mention to me that you hadn't.
Celeste: I told your father something like this would happen. This is exactly why we should've taken you up to Napa.
Veronica: [drar efter andan] Not in front of the baby.
Celeste: This isn't amusing, Veronica.
Veronica: It's not. Me breeding with a Kane? No laughing matter. But look, no one has to know, right? Worst-case scenario, things don't work out, I'll just dump her off at the big dance. It worked at your prom, didn't it?
Celeste: Does she ever make sense, Duncan?
Veronica: Does she ever thaw out, Duncan?

Mrs. Murphy: You always ask to go to the bathroom during this period. Logan: I know. It's that 12-pack I slam at lunch. It goes right through me.

Logan: I hope that tape didn't burn too much when they ripped it off. I hear that can leave some chafing.
Weevil: You made the wrong play, dawg. I shouldn't let you live for what you pulled.
Logan: What I pulled? Hang on, compadre, let's recap. You blasted a shotgun through my car with me inside.
Weevil: That wasn't me.
Logan: You torched my house. Then your masked bandidos played Russian Roulette with my hand. Okay, my math says that you still owe me.
Weevil: I thought you killed Felix.
Logan: Well, I didn't.
Weevil: Yeah, I pretty much know that now.
Logan: Oh, are you waiting for the music to swell before you start the apology?
Weevil: We have something in common now. We both need to find out who killed Felix.
Logan: So what, we team up? Get matching capes? I ride shotgun in the sidecar?
Weevil: Something like that, but not yet. See, I can't let you leave here looking the way you did when you walked in. Not if I don't want to end up some bald guy with tattoos who rides the school bus.
Logan: Well, I hope you don't just expect me to stand here and take it.
Weevil: Wouldn't be much fun if you did.
Logan: So who's going to throw the first - [skolklockan ringer, Weevil slår till Logan]

Thumper: They're lucky they got that door down. Sounded like Weevil was just beating the freckles off his ass.

Mac: Pay me in cash, I ask no questions. Just tip me off when you're going public.
Beaver: You know, I think that might be illegal.
Mac: Still... you're admiring my moxie, aren't you?
Beaver: Something like that.

Veronica: The truth is, as a baby, you were left in a Neptune High girl's bathroom on prom night twenty-five years ago.
Trina: No way. Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere, right? Ashton, come out! You can't get me that easy.
Veronica: Trina, I'm dead serious.
Trina: Okay. If you're joking, you really can act. You're a natural.
Veronica: You were found in a girls' bathroom on prom night.
Trina: What? So you mean my mother was like, one of those trashy sluts that dumped me in a garbage can?
Veronica: I'm... pretty sure Celeste Kane is your mom.
Trina: Well, there's worse news you could've given me. They've got billions!
Veronica: I suppose they do. Um... I was going to use this audition tape to smoke her out, shame her. I was gonna send this video to all the tabloids.
Trina: Oh, you're a rascal, Veronica Mars.
Veronica: Am I? I was thinking I was something else... less flattering.
Trina: You know, if we hurry, that tape can make tonight's Entertainment News. Oh, it's the least big Pat can do for me after leaving all those pervy messages on my voicemail.

[Läser skvallertidningsrubriker]
Trina: "Starlet's Silent Struggle With Death." "The Echolls' Family Curse."
Veronica: "Webster Rumored to be Discovered in Neverland Basement."

Trina: You know when I was kid, I used to imagine that someday I'd find out my parents were like, movie stars.
Veronica: Trina, your parents actually were movie stars.

Trina: Hey, Pops. Hope I'm interrupting.
Rekrot Moorehead: Trina, glad to see you're feeling better. I'd heard that you were -
Trina: At death's door? And when exactly were you planning to hook me up with a little bone marrow?
Rektor Moorehead: Perhaps we should take this outside.
Trina: Oh come on, Dad. It's the least you can do for your daughter after dumping me in the john on prom night.

Veronica: Are you keeping a dead rat in our freezer or do we have a slam dunk lawsuit against the processed-food industry?